Probably one of the most traumatic aspects of living with Emetophobia came at late in my lifetime. My earliest recollection of being sick was in the 4th grade. I barely even remember it now but I have carried it in my mind as a benchmark for “timing” the days, months and years between the events. Something that the character Jerry Seinfeld did in his show, I beat his 13 years 5 months streak by a landslide. My next episode came a full 30 years later where I was actually sick to my stomach. I had had a few heat related dry heaving events but had not passed anything upward from my stomach since the 4th grade.

When the event actually did happen some 30 years later, I was very frightened, even as a grown man. The length of time between had removed from my mind the ability to process what was about to happen to me. So much so that as a grown man I had to head to my parents’ house to be around people in order to let it happen. I fought the event for 11 hours… 11 miserable hours. After I got there I succumbed to the nausea and braced for what was going to happen. Sparing the details I can say I physically was sick one time, well two but one actually produced results. Yes I know, TMI!

At that point I realized I felt better, much better. I emerged from the bathroom victorious with my hands literally above my head in triumph. I felt fabulous that I had actually done it and was ready to move on from it. But I couldn’t, my mind began to process the event over the next few weeks and gradually sent me back into the cycle of fear. Even though I actually experienced it for the first time in decades, the event alone was not enough to stop the fear, it came back and came back with a vengeance. That started the second most miserable time in my life, a second peak period of fear that lasted for a few years and forced me to seek professional help. Something that I was afraid would never help…..

I was wrong! More to follow….

Remember, hang in there, it can get better.

Rich