I didn’t panic, flip my lid, cover my ears or flee…..

This in close proximity to a minor child heaving and ho’ing just below my second story balcony while we were on vacation. I know, I don’t think I even flinched as my wife asked me if I was doing well with what was happening. In a monumental moment such as this I was amazingly doing just fine, relaxing on my outdoor swing enjoying the night air.

One thing I didn’t do though is jump up and take a gander, everything that night was audible and was completely fine with that. Everything happened very fast. The mother pulled over in anticipation of her child saying she was feeling sick. They hurried out of the car and found a comfortable spot between the car and the curb and directly below our balcony (unbeknownst to them we were there). At that point the events commenced and we were along for the ride so to speak without drawing attention that we were privy to what was happening. As fast as it started it was over and they were on there way.

The exciting part for me was that for the first time ever that I didn’t get anxious, feel nauseous, cover my ears or runaway. It was rather monumental. I was very proud of where I was and how far I have come in coping with Emetophobia on a daily basis. Even though I didn’t visually witness the event, it was a great milestone in my progress.

Will I jump up to take a look next time? Probably not, I am just excited that I can deal with it near me without any immediate or lasting effects that would ruin a wonderful vacation. I will chalk this up to another addition to my toolbox of exposure and further desensitization of my fear through practical experience. Being in closer proximity to her may have been more uncomfortable but I am confident I would have remained steadfast and not panicked or overreacted and only hoped the girl would be ok.

Of course your reaction may have been different. Mine absolutely would have been if it were a few years back… the weekend would have been over at that point and time to throttle back eating and head home.

I immediately thanked God for the progress I had made and continued on with the night in great relaxation only to wonder if the little girl was feeling better. No one likes to be sick.

I would be remiss if I didn’t note that the event did sit on my mind off and on for part of the next day though. Not in a sense of fear but just curiosity about what was left behind, would I see it or have to walk by it. It happened in a loading zone for our B&B and was a major artery to the city and food. Luckily the next morning while admiring the sunrise I could see a subtle outline of the expulsion on the street but that was quickly taken away by a fortunate street sweeper that morning. I did walk by the spot the day after with just a thought about it, nothing more.

I tell this story so that you may have hope in your healing and if you haven’t gotten help for Emetophobia…. do so ASAP… you won’t regret it.

As always, hang in there and it will get better for you.

Rich